Fast Hive
Fast Hive is a take-off of Fast Five and is spoofed with Winnie the Pooh. This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 5 (31): Fast Hive / Minute to Flynn It. Summary Winnie the Pooh recruits some "Fast and Furious" help in his quest for honey. References *Fast Five *''the Fast and the Furious'' *''2 Fast 2 Furious'' *''Shrek'' *''Where the Wild Things Are'' *the Very Hungry Caterpillar *''Everybody Poops'' (Eeyore lands in that book. Real funny and hilarious) *Disney and Pixar's'' Cars'' MAD References *'Pooh Grit' *'Thomas the Unstoppable Tank Engine' Characters *Narrator (Not in story) *Winnie the Pooh *Rabbit *Dominic Toretto *Piglet *Eeyore *Tigger *Max *Carol *Bull *Caterpillar *Bee *Cat *Lightning McQueen *Mater Transcript (The screen shows a boy's bedroom.) Narrator: This could be the room of any small boy. But that would be spying. So this is the room of Christopher Robin, who loved Winnie the Pooh. (The book opens to show Pooh on a branch as he tries to reach out for the beehive.) And Pooh, who loved honey was once again trying to steal some. Pooh: It's not like there are stores around here you know. Now if I could just- (The branch cracks and breaks, causing to Pooh to fall.) I suppose... (Falls onto a branch) this was... (Falls onto another branch) funny... (Falls onto another branch) the first few times, but... (Falls onto another branch) now it just... (Breaks his back on a rock) hurts. (Falls off) Narrator: So Pooh decided to get some help from his very good friend Rabbit. (The screen goes to a page with Pooh going to Rabbit's house.) Pooh: No! I won't be doing that! (Punches Rabbit back in his house) Rabbit: (groans) Narrator: But it's in the book! Pooh: Well, I called for some help outside the book. (Cue Dominic Toretto, star of the Fast and the Furious.) Dominic Toretto: (Crashes his car into the book) Someone need help with a heist? (Title card: Fast Hive) (Scene goes to Dominic Toretto and Pooh in Dom's car as he is driving.) Dominic Toretto: All right, what's the job? Bank trains, bank on a train, bank of trains? Pooh: A beehive, actually. (Dom stops his car near the tree with the beehive. He and Pooh come out of the car.) Dominic Toretto: A beehive, huh? Is it dangerous? 'Cause I've got a reputation to uphold. Pooh: I suppose so. (shuts his car door) I mean, if you're allergic to bees, that is. Dominic Toretto: Yeah! That's it! I could be allergic. And those bees look pretty furious. (The screen zooms in on the beehive, showing two bees fightning each other.) Of course, those bees are fast and furious. (The screen shows another beehive with bees flying very fast.) Bee: Aaaaaaaaah! Dominic Toretto: And you might even say those bees are too fast and too furious. (the screen shows another beehive with bees using flying motorcycles) Pooh: Are you finished? Dominic Toretto: I think so. Let's assemble our team. Who do you got and what are their specialties? Pooh: Well, Piglet here is very small. Piglet: Some people think I'm a girl. Dominic Toretto: You're not? Pooh: Eeyore is very sad. Eeyore: I could have been in Shrek. Pooh: And Tigger is bouncy. Tigger: (bouncing) Hoo, Hoo, Hoo! You know, I could probably just bounce up there and get it. Dominic Toretto: Good, 'cause that's the plan: to bounce up there using cars. (the screen shows some cars) All:'' Cars''? Tigger: (bouncing as high as the beehive) No, I mean, I think I can reach it. Dominic Toretto: No time! (gets out a blueprint) Pig Guy, Stripey Cat, you tether your cars to the Sad Horse and pull him up that ramp. That will launch his car onto a lever which will raise another ramp onto which Pooh and I will drive and hitch a chain to the hive from-- Narrator: Uhh, hello, it's the narrator. I just want to point out that this might not be the smartest plan. Dominic Toretto: What do you know? You read books! Narrator: Exactly, and I'm afraid you'll-- Dominic Toretto: No time! Let's go! (Dominic Toretto starts his car, Pooh starts his car, he sees the beehive air freshener and starts to suck honey out of it, Tigger starts his car, Piglet starts his car, as his body was small, Eeyore starts his car, but it breaks down) Eeyore: Pathetic. (Everyone's cars start, with Eeyore's car hooked on a chain to Piglet's car. Everyone's cars race up the ramp, then the second ramp, then almost at the bee hive, but they all miss it) Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger and Dominic Toretto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Narrator: And, just as I was afraid, (everyone's cars come out of the book) they all lift off the page and landed into other books. Narrator: Pooh into Where the Wild Things Are, Piglet and Tigger into The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Eeyore into-- Eeyore: Everybody Poops. Carol: What are you doing here?! Pooh: Well, we were just trying to get some honey. Carol: (grins) Oh, why didn't you say so? (holds out a pot of honey) We have some here. (gives it to Pooh) Pooh: (Gasps) Caterpillar: (holding a pot of honey) I was going to eat this, but there's plenty for everyone. Piglet: (faints) Bee: (holding a pot of honey) In this book too! 'Cause, as you know, even bees-- (poops on Eeyore) Eeyore: Poop. Narrator: And what, you may ask, happened to Dom? Well, he landed into the novelization of the movie Cars. Lightning McQueen: I hear you got a thing for chains and cars. Mater: Huh! Now you’re talking my language! (puts his hook onto Dom's car. He and McQueen start to move at a fast speed while pulling Dom's car) Dominic Toretto: Wait! No! This is why I hate booooooooks! (His car gets unhooked and goes up a ramp and flies into the distance somersaulting.) (Dom's car explodes and the segment ends) Trivia *Antagonist: Dominic Toretto *Second appearance of The Fast and the Furious in MAD. First time was The Fast and the Curious from The Buzz Identity / Two and a Half Man. *This is the 2nd time Lightning McQueen spoke, 1st time was Thomas the Unstoppable Tank Engine. *The book "Winney Da Poo" was written by A. E. Newman. (Alfred E. Neuman) *The part when Eeyore landed in "Everybody Poops", it was a reference to the 2 episodes of The Simpsons: Margical History Tour and Lost Verizon. *'Innuendo: Piglet:' Some people think I'm a girl. Dominic Toretto: You're not? *The inside of the book says **"...was straight up tryin' to steal some of that sweet stuff, cuz he don't give a care for the rules." **"Pooh was all mad about falling so far, and possibly injuring himself. He doesn't have health insurance, you see, so a trip to the hospital would cost more than he could bear." **"Rabbit always had some hare-brained scheme to score honey. Rabbits are crafty that way. Pooh walked over to Rabbit's hole, dug roughly on the side of a hill. A crude sign hung above the hole, evidence of rabbit's tenuous grasp on the written word." *In the Cars films, Lightning McQueen's eyes are blue, and Mater's eyes are green. But in this segment, McQueen's eyes are green, and Mater's eyes are blue. This happens again with McQueen's eyes in Addition: Impossible and Outtagascar, and Mater's eyes in Trans-BORE-Mores 3: Dark of the Blue Moon. *In the Disney adaptations, Pooh has a black nose. In this segment, his nose is pink, along with that his eyebrows are bushy. *In the books, Piglet's jumper is green. In the Disney adaptations, it is magenta. In this segment, it has magneta and brown stripes. *In the Disney adaptations, Eeyore has long flat hair and a purple bow on his tail. In this segment, he has short messed up hair and the bow on his tail is blue. This also occurs in Pooh Grit. *In the Disney adaptations, Tigger's nose is pink and the last stripe on the end of his tail is black. But in this segment, his nose is purple, and the stripe on the end of his tail is white. This also occurs in Pooh Grit. *When Pooh falls from the tree branch trying to get some honey from the beehive, the same music is heard from A MAD Look inside... Li'l Wayne's mouth and Zach Galifianakis's bellybutton. *Dominic Toretto calls Eeyore a sad horse, Piglet a girl pig, and Tigger a cat guy. *In his introduction, Eeyore mentions Shrek. *Unlike the source material, Pooh has fingers. *Jim Cummings, Travis Oates and Peter Cullen weren't available to voice Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore at this time, so Pooh's voiced by Chris Cox, Tigger and Eeyore are both voiced by Kevin Schinick and Piglet's voiced by Rachel Ramras in this parody segment. Category:Movie Segment Category:Movie Parodies Category:Segments Category:Transcripts Category:Book Parodies Category:Death